Planes, planes and more planes!

As you all may know, I am kinda plane freak. And not only that, I am so evil to drag my son along with it :). We often go to the airport, as I already mentioned, and just go check out the planes. There are 2 nice spots here, to see planes. One of them is next to the landing strip, which is an official parking lot, especially build for this purpose.

The other is not official, and you can't see them actually take off either. But you can see them pass by really closely. And Alec has figured out that when you wave to the pilots, some of them might even wave back. So, now he is waving at every plane passing by, and yes, there are actually quite some pilots that are waving back, some of them even open the window and stick their arm out. This morning one pilot even stick out his head and arms and waved at Alec with both arms. Needless to say, that this is an encouragement for him to wave even harder.

Too bad I don't have a picture of that. Well, even if I did, you never can see them waving on the picture.
Anyway, I'd just wanted to share some nice pictures with you, pictures I have taken on both places shown on the picture of Schiphol on top of this post:

What's with these job agencies?

It's 1:45 am, and I am suppose to be in bed right now. Well, actually I was, but just one thing that was just bugging me a bit. Besides a nasty cough I've been having for the last few days already, that isn't getting worse, but isn't getting better either.
Anyway, what's with these job agencies nowadays? The other day I was walking in Hoofddorp, a town nearby with a lot of job agencies focussed on Schiphol Airport, and I saw a note in a window: "several openings on export at forwarding agents" or words like that. So, I thought, if they have SEVERAL, then at least there migth be one for me too. So, dropped in and agreed to send my resume by e-mail (which I did the moment I came home). I called the next day, well, actually the next Monday, since this was on Friday, to see if my resume has received in good order. Then I waited, and waited.....This was about 2 weeks ago. So today, I called since I haven't heard from them. "No sorry, we don't have anything for you at the moment."....And what happened to those SEVERAL job openings? "They are all taken already, yeah, they went so fast!".....
Would it be, that if I had called earlier, that I might have gotten a chance? I have the idea, that it wouldn't have mattered. I mean, if they have something they could have called me, right?

Another funny thing...I already mentioned in one of my posts earlier, that I don't like to work in shifts,...I just don't see the necessity of it. And I did mention it at another job agency.
The other day that agency called:" yeah, we might have a job for you. But it is in shifts from 6:00 am till 2 pm, and from 2 pm till 11 pm"..... HELLO!!!! Didn't you hear me? I DON'T WANT TO WORK IN SHIFTS!! And especially not in crappy shifts like this.
I mean, I may have to adjust my standards in the future, actually I have a little bit already at some of the latter agencies, but not this one yet.
So...what I am wondering,.......WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING THERE!!! Get your thumb out of your ass, and find me the kind of job I asked for. How hard can it be?

Humor, humor me!

What is humor? That question popped in my head this morning with no particular reason. Wikipedia is stating the following about it:"Humour or Humor is the ability or quality of people, objects, or situations to evoke feelings of amusement in other people." Well, pretty good description, I guess. And who has a sense of humor? Well, I guess that is a matter of taste. I know several people who have, in my opinion, absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever, while others might think they are hilarious. For me, I'd like to believe I have a sense of humor. And while others might agree to that, others probably might say I have the humor of a beached whale.

The funny thing is that each country has their own kind of humor. For me, I just love the crazy humor from the British. Recently, they are airing a rerun of the hitserie "Allo Allo", a British comedy about the second world war. It is written and directed by David Croft, the same guy behind "Are you being served?" and "Hi-de-hi".

I must say, that recently the humor is changing, even in England. I also love to watch "Two pints of beer and a pack of crisps". Compared to the humor from David Croft, this is much more direct and blunt. But as always also a bit focussed on everything "below the equator", like all British humor. Who doesn't remember the scene of Mr. Bean with his finger sticking out of his pants while greeting the queen?

Like I said, every country has his own sense of humor. The British have a rather subtle sense of humor, sometimes even a bit "dirty" and ambiguous (dubbelzinnig). The Dutch humor is more direct I think, and sometimes quite hard. The French must have a sense of humor too, but I can't think of anything, since I am not familiar with it. The American humor is quite visual, never "dirty" or ambiguous (there are exceptions). The Japanese have quite a sadistic sense of humor. The more it hurts, the harder the laughter. And the German? Do they have a sense of humor? Can't really think of a good German comedy or stand-up comedian.

Anyway, not only the humor depends on country, but also on the era. When you mention the names of Wim Sonneveld, Wim Kan, Toon Hermans, anyone can think of at least one scene of their show (sorry, couldn't find any good material of Toon Hermans). But their shows where always decent, never rude, sometimes a little on the edge (for those days I mean) when it comes to dirtiness. And still it's timeless, well, for me at least.

And remember the New Year's Eves. Every year first Wim Kan and later Seth Gaaikema looked back on the past year, politically. You were looking forward to it at the end of January already. And for politicians it was a great honor if you were mentioned in their shows. Maybe even some political decisions were made, just to get mentioned. But sttt, you didn't hear that from me!

In the '70 and '80 you get a new political shift from christian conservative to progressive left. And the humor went along with it. Freek de Jonge and Youp van 't Hek showed up, and started to ridicule everyone who didn't fit into their left-minded political image. So, down went the shares of the Ikea, and even Buckler (an alcohol-free beer brought on the market by Heineken) died a nameless death in the same year it was introduced.
You had to be afraid not to buy something or do something that was mentioned in their shows. Everyone tried not to live a middle-class life, or else you would fit the profile, ridiculed by earlier mentioned boys.

This left-winged comedy lasted for quite a while, and comedians came and went, all with the same messages, the same political correctness. It was like left had a monopoly on the humor.
Luckily, nowadays the left-winged comedians are becoming extinct. More and more comedians are just swinging from left to right, hitting on anybody and nobody in particular.

Yeah, even though the humor has changed over the past centuries, still it's an important aspect of life, and no matter what kind of humor you like, and what makes you roll on the floor, remember: "A day not laughed, is a day not lived!"

Ascension Day

Remember I had said that I would tell you about the things I had done that day, and stuff? Well, I am going to make an exception on that. There are some pictures I want to share with you, and I just have to write some things about it.

Today it was Ascension Day. And all of Holland is either going on vacation, because they also took Friday off, so a long weekend, or they are just going somewhere for the day, like us. Normally the Dutch tradition is the "Furniture Shopping Malls" (Don't know how to say in English) like "Villa Arena" or "Woonmall Alexandrium". Don't ask me why, it's just is :).

Anyway, not us. We went to an amusement park called "Koningin Julianatoren". And since we thought Alec would go in for free, we already had a budget to spend, and calculated everything. BUT....we had to pay for Alec as well. Euro 15,75 per person....ouch.
Well, apart from that minor sat-back, things were just a big blast. The park is relatively small, compared to the more well-known "Efteling" and "WalibiWorld"(formally known as "Six Flags"), but I think it keeps it more visible for a kid of Alec's age.

Well, I won't keep you waiting any longer. Enjoy the pictures:

Funny jokes

A fearsome pirate captain and his crew were basking about on deck one afternoon, drinking and carrying on in celebration of thier latest victory. Finally, the crew settled down some and started in to tall tales and talk of tactics and so forth. Well, one sailor decided to ask the captain why it was that he always wore a red shirt in to battle.

"Why, that's easy, lad!", exclaimed the captain. "I wear a red shirt in case I get hit. Yer see, ifn I take a slash with my red shirt on, you boys don't see no blood and don't see me wounded. That way, yer don't lose faith in me and yer fight on and win the day!"

Well, the crew nodded appreciatively and agreed that thier captain was a very wise man.

But, just then, a call came down from the nest "Captain, 6 Spanish Warships off the port bow!"

As the crew scrambled to thier stations, the captain paused from barking orders, and grabbed a crewman by the arm.

"Be a good lad and fetch me my brown pants!"

===========================================================================

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to
open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a
glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in
front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees
that its in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He
takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey,breakfast is on
the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you."

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast
and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks,
"Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3
A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and
gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean,
and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she
tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"

=========================================================

After getting all of the Pope's luggage loaded into the limo (and he
doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still
standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Eminence," says the driver, "Would you please take
your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me
drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what
if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never
gone to work that morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in
behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Supreme Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to
105mph.
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but
the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches,
but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and
gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped
a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the
cop.
Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope for a limo driver!

===============================================================

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I
also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the
rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the
rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the
turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it
actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung,
he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,
who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson - Bull Shit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a
large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,
it began to realize how warm it was.The dung was
actually thawing him out!He lay there all warm and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate.Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate
him.

Management Lesson -

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut !

Environmental Safety in Taiwan

And finally, I have had the energy to get off my lazy ass, and translate one of my pieces about Taiwan. And this time it is about the environment and safety in Taiwan.
When I was there, I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Well, not actually, since I have quit smoking a few years ago. But with all the fumes over there it sometimes felt like it. The scooters and other traffic are blowing so much exhaust fumes, that it sometimes just gets to your throat. That's why a lot of people are wearing a dust mask for protection while driving the scooter.

I must say, it always is fun to see what kind of exotic beauty has been hiding behind the mask. However, the result is variable, and sometimes disappointing. Some people I might even suggest to put it back on.
The funny thing is that this mask has become part of the fashion nowadays. Everyone has at least 2 or three at home, and they come in all sorts and sizes: for adults, for kids, in red, in blue, with Pokemon, Superman, etc. Some pick the right color with the outfit they are wearing that day.
And if you don't have the right color present that day, you can just go to the night market, to buy it.

The funny thing is that things are a bit contradictory. One hand side they have all kinds of recycle projects, but at the same time they drive around on poluting scooters. Also the safety on these scooters is funny to see. Well, you may have read the story about the traffic and what Taiwanese mean when they are talking about helmets. Also the payload of a scooter isn't much more than a guideline. Seeing entire families riding 1 scooter is normal over there. Picture this (well, you don't need to, just check out the picture below): Mother (with "proper" helmet) riding scooter, girl (without helmet) between her legs, behind the mother there is another girl sitting (no helmet) all squeezed between mother and aunty (with helmet again this time). Of course you can think of other varieties on this.

And what if the kid is too small to stand on the front? Don't worry, just put a chair on it:

Luckily the police doesn't think this is safe, so whenever they find something like this, you can expect quite a nice fine from them.

The thing I think is quite scary, but apparently generally accepted, is the way they drive around with those big gastanks on the back of their scooters. And I don't mean those small camping gasbottles......no, I mean those big tanks. Here in Holland, you almost need a license and a Dangerous Goods Management course, just to buy a small cannister of gas for you camping cooking set, and your car needs special preparations to drive home with it. In Taiwan you can just see them drive around town,with a special rack at the back, fit for three tanks, sometimes even with a cigarette in the mouth. What if the guy gets into an accident, tanks break open, engine catch fire, just some worse case scenarios. I am getting images of Enschede here, complete blocks being wiped off the face of the earth. I have the feeling that somehow, somewhere things must (have gone or) go awfully wrong.