Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Alec's new trick

Ok, first of all a short lesson in Dutch. "Zwaaien" means "to wave at someone", and one of those lights on top of a police car or fire engine is called a "zwaailicht", literally translated "a waving light".
Why the heck am I telling you this? Well, Alec just found a new trick, and I needed to tell you the above first, otherwise you might not get the punchline.
Here in Holland, trucks that have to stop on the public road once in a while, like garbage trucks, container trucks etc, have a yellow flashing light on top, to warn other people that the truck is standing there.
Anyway, once, when Alec saw one of those lights turning, I told him as sort of a joke, that that light is a "zwaailicht" and that it is waving to him, and he should wave back. If you don't get the joke, that's ok,......he didn't get it either.
But somehow this got stuck in his little head a little bit, since a few days ago, we were waiting for the traffic light, when a truck with those lights passed by. So, Alec started to wave at those lights. And the funny thing is, that the driver saw Alec wave, and he turned on those lights while passing by. I couldn't see Alec's face, since he was sitting on my shoulders, but the way he was bounching on my shoulders said it all. So, I guess that his latest trick will be waving at trucks from now on.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Some funny jokes

I found a few funny jokes again. Some of them aren't exactly female-friendly, I apologize for that in advance, and I promise, the next time I will try to find some male-unfriendly jokes.

The Geography of Men and Women

The Geography of a Woman


- Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.

- Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

- Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

- Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

- Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

- Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

- Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future (a bit like Tony Blair, maybe Blair's a women really).

- After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man

- Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick.


Poisonous

One cold, rainy afternoon, there's a guy sitting at a bar, just staring into his untouched drink. He sits like that for about an hour, saying nothing. Finally, a big, rough-looking truck driver decides he's going to start some trouble, and he walks over, picks up the drink from in front of the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor guy just starts crying. The truck driver wasn't expecting that reaction, and he says, "Aw, come on, man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that," the man said, wiping away his tears. "See... This has been the worst day of my life. First, I overslept, and I was late to my office, and my boss was in a terrible mood, and fired me. When I got my things and left the building to go home, I found my car was stolen. The police don't have any clues."

"So I got in a cab to go home and when I got out, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards on the seat, and the cab driver just drove away. I went inside and went upstairs, and I found my wife in bed with the gardener! I walked out and came to this bar."

"And now, while I'm sitting here thinking about putting an end to it all, you show up and drink my poison!"



Quite a mix-up

When the ark's door was closed Noah called a meeting with all the
animals.

"Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO sex on
this trip. All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my
sons.

I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you
can get your penis back."

After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his wife's cage and was very
excited. "Quick!" he said, "Get on my shoulders and look out the window
to see if there is any land out there!" Mrs. Rabbit got onto his
shoulders, looked out the window, and said, "Sorry, no land yet."
"Damn!", exclaimed Mr. Rabbit.

This went on every day until Mrs. Rabbit got fed up with him. Mrs.
Rabbit asked, "What is the matter with you? You know it will rain for
forty days and nights. Only after the water has drained will we be able
to seeland. But why are you acting so excited every day?"

"Look!", said Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece
of paper, "I GOT THE HORSE'S RECEIPT!!"


Mission Impossible

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied,
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Our wonderful nightlife

The other day I had the change to explore our wonderful nightlife in our magnificent metropolis called Uithoorn. Well, the part about the metropolis should be taken with a pinch of salt. Our town is not really that big, it is kinda average, and has 26,951 residents. if you wanna see what I am talking about, look at Google Earth. Find Amsterdam, and go a bit south, about 20 km. There you find Uithoorn, next to the water.

Why am I telling you this? Because, the first part of my first sentence is actually correct, to my big surprise. For our relatively small town, we have quite a nightlife, and in such a diversity. And all this in an area of about 1 square kilometer.
There is a snooker bar, where you can shoot some pools or play the more sophisticated game of snooker. On one hand side is a bar, which I am not really that familiar with, but I think it's one of those bars which only thrives on the business of the regulars. On the other side is a bar, which is popular among the local youth, where they play the latest songs. A bit further, along the water you find a bar, which you can categorize in the typical dutch "bruine cafe", a brown cafe where all the dutch tearjerkers are being played, and the atmosphere can be described as a bit Amsterdam-ish. Right next to it you can find a bar, which is more to my liking, where all the classic rock songs are being played: Eric Clapton, Led Zeppelin, Carlos Santana, well,....all the general guitar hero's. Around the corner, in an old station there are several types of bars, which still need some exploring.
And all this is completed with no less than 2 (!) Shoarma restaurants. For those not living in Holland, Shoarma is the national food for those who just rolled out of a bar, with more alcohol than blood in his/her veins.

I must say that in general the nightlife in every town and city is quite exciting. Already in the smallest village there is a cafe (usually next to the church). Also everything is usually within walking distance from each other. When you look at Amsterdam, there are 2 main areas where it all is happening: the Leidseplein and the Rembrandtplein. All bars and discos are in walking distance, which makes club hopping so much easier.

The town where I used to live, a few kilometers down the road, also has a pretty interesting nightlife. When I was kid, the first times I went out with a friend of mine, was to a bar, with a fairly notorious reputation. Bar-fights and knife swinging were more common than rare. Well, what can you expect in the hillbilly town where I grew up.
So, no wonder that my mom always layed awake till I finally came home. And much to her relief always by bike instead of an ambulance.
Later there came another bar-dancing here, which became our local hangout every Friday and/or Saturday evening. And even though things may have become a bit ugly sometimes, it never got out of hand. Thanks to the harsh and strict door-policy. What also may have helped is that the people running the place were friendly and well-respected people, and no-one wanted to have that place closed down.

Oh, now I came to the subject anyway, there is one experience I will always remember one time a friend of mine and me went to a discotheque on a small neighbouring town. Well...town,...3 houses and a church. When we arrived at that bar, I swear, there were 2 police cars, standing outside, with one of them the officers inside, 2 police officers were standing at the door talking to 2 bouncers on the outside door. On the inside door, there were 2 more bouncers, there you had to pass through a metal detector, and once you came in the actually disco, there were 2 more bouncers standing near the exit. Besides that army strategically positioned near the doors, there were around 3 more walking around "patrolling" the place. So...count with me...I have counted no less then 9 bouncers. Well.. ..I must say, that this was another one of those hillbilly places, with a very bad reputation. Ever since the opening, there has been a fight almost every weekend, mostly between youth from rivaling towns.

Anyway, apart from these places, things are quite nice around here. I haven't heard about anything bad happening, in the 8 years that I live here.

Another fun thing here is that every year the above mentioned bars organize a street festival. There are live stages scattered all around town, bars are build outside, and you can just stand outside, listen to live bars, while enjoying your beer. And not only Uithoorn, but the neighbouring town of Aalsmeer is also doing it. In fact they started it. And now it has grown to events the villagers are looking forward to the whole year. It usually is around August or September. So, if you happen to be visiting Holland, either send me an e-mail asking about it, or check your hotel for the music festivals. It really is worth it!

Monday, February 19, 2007

The airport

I just have been cleaning up the pics on my computer, and found a few pictures of Schiphol, our International Airport I wanted to share with you. Why share pictures of an airport? What is so interesting about an airport? Well, I must admit, for most of you there are more interesting subjects, but for me, the airport is some sort of magnet. I spend some time next to the landing strip, or just love to walk around in the airport itself. For me, it represents a portal to far away places, unexplored countries, fascinating new cultures, delicious new food.

Anyway, here are some pictures taken on or around the airport. I hope you enjoy them.


Martinair Cargo taxi-ing to the runway


Another plane taking off


Can you imagine? Getting married AT the airport and go on honeymoon right away!



Nowadays you can fly "cheap" all over Europe. Only 20 euro to Berlin (+ 12 euro Airport Security Tax + 13 euro Passenger Service Charge + 2 euro Noise Isolation Charge (!) + 9 euro Insurance and Fuel Surcharge = roughly 37 euro)


The main hall at the airport, with yours truly and Alec.


"Hmmm, white wine or red wine?"


Noodles to go, still need to try


Ride near the restaurant. They had a plane too, but that was always occupied.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

nostalgia galore!

Recently when I zap through the dozens of tv-channels we have, I come across all kinds of tv-series and films, which were very popular in my childhood.

The other day I found a movie from Bud Spencer and Terence Hill. For those who don't know who they were, it is a bit of Laurel and Hardy mixed with Jackie Chan, and they were quite popular here in the '70's. I remember having birthday parties, where the whole gang was taken to the cinema, to see the latest of their movies. And just like the McDonalds, it was talked about for weeks afterwards. When I see it now, I notice how things have changed. Back then the humor was quite simple and decent. Now it is more direct and sometimes balancing on the edge. Anyway, it was fun to see it again, even for a little while.

I also found that RTL-7 is doing a rerun of the whole A-team series. THE A-TEAM!! Who doesn't remember those guys? Face, Murdock, Hannibal and B.A.
Looking back on that series, what amazes me is that each episode, they fire like thousands of bullets, and never someone was hit by one. They must have been really lousy shooters.
And each episode was basically a copy of the one before that: Girl in distress, meeting the handsome one from the A-team, they help her, they build a great machine, and they win.
But hey, we were 8 or 9 years old, what did we know.....or better, what did we care?
It was a great serie, and we HAD to be home to watch it, in order to talk about it next day at school. And you had to have a really solid reason why you didn't watch.
And the amazing things was, that these guys were actually hero's in our minds. Helping those who need help, fighting injustice, while they had to run from the law for a crime they didn't commit. The broadcast company who aired this series once invited them to Holland, or they were on a tour or something, not sure. Anyway, the scenes when they arrived. Kids went completely crazy. And the most amazing part is, that it wasn't the actors that did the tour, no....it was the A-team, they had to stay in character the whole time.

And what about that other hitseries, "the Dukes of Hazard". Now, that was something. Two hillbilly brothers in a pimped up car that were always speeding, and a dumb sheriff who is never able to catch these guys.
I was at the time too young to enjoy Daisy´s hotpants, but also for kids my age there was plenty to enjoy. Like the same car jump over the broken bridge, where the General Lee would fly over like a F16 fighter plane, while the sheriff´s car fell down like a brick. That is was basically the same jump shot from different angles, we didn´t care. It was always great to watch.
And at school, the next day we always had to discuss that episode on the playground.
Seeing all this makes me feel a bit longing for those times, where things were so simple: the good guys always won, the bad guys always lost.
Ah well.......the present also has it's charm, right?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Blasphemy Challenge Part 2

I have been thinking about my previous post on this subject, and reading it back, and I feel I left out a few important things about this subject. So, sorry I made an extra post, and not adding it as comment.

I feel that a religion should not TELL you how to live, but more be like a guidance when things go rough in life. And I think that in the heart of ANY religion this was the purpose. However, somewhere along the line someone forgot this, and started to use it for their own personal agenda.
Unfortunately this happened to every religion. Well,....considering there has been thousands of years, it was bound to happen somewhere along the line.


A few years ago I was having a hard time, and I was wondering, where can I go? Who can I turn to? And you always hear people turning to a religion or to God if things turn bad. But when I thought about it, I already saw that wasn't something for me. With most religion you will have a priest, rabbi, imam or whatever telling you how to live, and not helping you with the problem on hand.
And I was thinking about those Asian religions, people praying to their ancestors, and spirits. And actually getting answers right away. Unfortunately I couldn't speak Chinese well enough to talk to someone in one of those temples about that, and no-one there speaks English.
Well....I am still working on all this.

At this moment I just feel, that everyone should have the right to choose IF and HOW they believe/worship God, Allah, or whatever. And nobody should tell them how to do it.
There are too much people who let false pretenses guide their lives. Thinking that what some big religious hotshot tells them is best for them, as long as they pray a lot, and live in a certain way.
Don't get me wrong. There must be millions of spiritual leaders trying to do the best for their people. And I don't judge them. They don't know any better. I also don't condemn them. It's just that the institution they stand for that I judge and condemn.

Anyway, I hope that everyone makes the choice, that they think is right for them, and that they don't get carried away by big promises made by people with false pretenses. And don't respond to this "Blasphemy Challenge". Choose, but choose with your mind and heart. Think before you choose, and don't get mixed up in peer pressure.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Taiwanese traffic

When I was in Taiwan, I started to develop an addiction. No, not alcohol, cigarettes or even chocolate. No, I started to become addicted to adrenalin.The traffic there is giving me a massive adrenalin-rush. It always appear to me that the Taiwanese are trying to commit mass suicide, and back out of it at the last moment. Also the attitude in the traffic is completely different. As friendly and helpfull as they are in general, as homocidal and aggressive they are in traffic. And I am really talking day and night here, fire and ice, "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde"...well, you get the idea. There is hardly any consideration with other traffic what so ever. Once my wife and I were driving home from Kaoshiung. Nearby Taichung we got stuck in a traffic jam for no obvious reason (well, I am used to that, since that is common practise here in Holland). Since we had the idea, that we didn't get anywhere if we stayed on this route, we decided to take another route. So, we had to change lanes, to take the next exit. YEAH, RIGHT!!! Changing lanes in traffic jam? IN TAIWAN?? Good luck!!
I did everything that I was suppost to do, turn the signal lights on, move the car in the desired direction a bit already, etc. But do you think that any car would have the courtesy to let me in? They just kept on driving as if they didn't see me. Even when I was already halfway already, they still passed me, even if that meant that they had to drive AROUND me. Now, I did have some experience with Taiwanese traffice and knew a little bit what to expect, but I still was surprised. So,...I just went for it the Taiwanese way:"BOOM = HO!"

And it all looks like there are absolutely no traffic rules. LOOKS, because there sure are rules, surprisingly:

"The bigger the car, the stronger you are". This does suggest a certain hierarchy: as pedestrian you are nothing more than a notch on a gun, a bicycle is a little bit higher in the food chain (since the iron on the bike could cause more damage to your car then some flesh and bones), a Mercedes or Lexus is higher than for example a Honda, and when you are bus- or truckdriver.......yeah, you guessed it, the world is at your feet (or in this case wheels).

The following rule is also very important: If you see a gap, USE it! No matter how small it is, or how dangerous it is. With this in mind the most scooters are driving around like kamikaze-pilots, zig-zagging through the traffic as if Satan himself is chasing them.

For the next rule you need to practise a bit: when someone crosses the street, ALWAYS pass in front of him/her, NEVER behind them. And of course the trick is NOT to hit that person. Scaring the shit out of him is ok. In fact, that is mandatory.

Traffic lights are also funny. All pedestrian lights have a counter, which shows how long the light stays green.

However, does the light change to yellow, during your survival trip to the other side of the road, either run for your life or hit the deck. “Wait a minute…..you said yellow?”. Yes, yellow. Normally people should wait for their light to turn green. But here they wait, especially scooters, for the other light to turn yellow. That way they are already at warp speed when their light turns green.

On some places these lights are also there for cars, like for example in HsinChu. Except, here it is the other way around, and it shows how long the light stays red (after all, we are talking about Taiwan). The fun thing in HsinChu is that on regular basis races are being held by the youth, with earlier mentioned traffic lights as starting point.

As all the above proves, driving in Taiwan does takes some skill. However, when you are planning on driving here, you have to remember one thing: forget everything you ever learned about driving. Traffic rules are being made (and violated) on the spot. The first time I was driving there, I was really following the rules as I learned them in Holland. Not that I am driving like a saint here, but what if you run in Taiwan into a cop who haven’t met his target in tickets yet.
Well, let me tell you, you will stop driving nicely after a few days. You see, in Taiwan, the police is working on real crime, instead of small time traffic violations (unlike in Holland). So, there isn’t much traffic control.
Eventually you will get used to the traffic, slowly or in my case, fast. My wife already said several times already (when we were driving by car or bike): “you really are driving like a Taiwanese already”. Now, I don’t know if I should consider this as an insult or a compliment, but it does show how much I had adapted to the traffic. And once back in Holland, I had a hard time to get used to driving by the rules again.

By the way, do you know that people in Taiwan don’t learn how to drive a car, but how to pass the driving exam. Every morning on my way to school, I passed a driving school.

Well, actually I should put “school”, since it’s nothing more than a parking lot, changed into a track, where the basics of driving are “learned”, like turning in a street, driving backwards in a corner, and all those other VERY important skills. In Holland, all this is learned on the actual road, with “real” traffic around you. In Taiwan it is learned on previous mentioned parking lot, in a specially modified car. The car has little marks on the passengers side of the car, showing you what to do, when to turn etc. For example, when want to park backwards in line, there is a mark, which will tell you, that when that mark is aligned with for instance a lightpole, you need to turn the steering wheel a certain number of times.
So basically, people know how to drive a certain car of a certain driving school, but as soon as they get into another car, they might crash it. You learn how to pass for the exam. Experience you will learn in real life.

Therefore, this way, the worlds best and the worlds worst drivers are being created at the same time. Everyone is always doing their utmost best, with the little driving skills, not to scratch their most precious possessions, that despite the chaos, little accidents happen. Even with that huge amount of kamikaze pilots.
Once we were driving to Taroko National Park, which is in the middle of Taiwan, in the mountains. Since we left a bit later than planned, we ended up in a mist, or actually low clouds. And I am talking near zero visibility, 5 meters or less. And the road was a 2 lane road, or even a 1 ½ way lane. Now, I am not scared easily in the car, but even I was terrified. This was one of the very few occasions that I was actually keeping the speed limit, and sometimes even less. And believe it or not, even under these circumstances I was passed with a speed, even Michael Schumacher would have been scared of. Passing under these conditions either takes nerves of steel OR serious psychiatric help.

You can expect ANYTHING here in traffic. Busses are being passed in a curve on a 2-lane road, driving in the inside lane of hairpin bends, even when the end is not visible. And what if there is another car coming? Well, see the first rule I wrote earlier.

You might wonder, aren’t there any traffic signs, or traffic lights? Sure, they are there, but they are basically just for decoration. People are passing at a double line, U-turns are made at places where it clearly shows that this is not allowed, scooters are driving on places where they are not suppose to drive, etc.
Also when it comes to the cars itself, you can expect everything here. Anything goes, mirrored windows, coloured headlights.

As you might already know (or not), the national mode of transport is the scooter. And yes, in most cases this is the easiest and fastest vehicle. The fun part is that the whole infrastructure is based on this. There are special parking places for scooters, even entire parking garages. There are even special trucks to deliver the scooters to the shops.
Also there are lanes especially for scooters, like the bicycle lanes in Holland. And at the traffic lights usually the first 10, 15 meters are only occupied with scooters.

Another funny thing is the protection of the head on the scooters. A few years ago, the government had decided that everyone on a scooter should wear protection on the head, while driving the scooter. Apparently, they have forgotten to write down a good definition of that protection.

The result is, that even though everyone is actually wearing a helmet, but in some cases they might just as well not wear it at all, since it wouldn’t help anyway. People are wearing some sort of “baseball”- helmet, others are wearing helmets which are 2 or 3 sizes too big, or don’t have a chin strap. I wouldn’t be surprised if I would see someone driving around with a wok on his head. In case of an accident most of these helmets offer just as much protection as a t-shirt is protecting you from the rain. So, basically, the only protection they offer is for fines from the police.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

The Blasphemy Challenge

The other day I was reading an online newspaper, and I found an article about a video on Youtube. Just watch it first and judge for yourself:



Also watch an interview with one of the initiator:



When I heard about it, I had a little bit of mixed feelings. I completely understand the reasons why they are doing this. There are a lot of kids that are forced into believing and accepting a religion by their parents, and indoctrinated by the spiritual leader of that religion.
However, I feel the way they are trying to reach those kids is a little bit over the edge. They are trying to make kids denounce the existence of God, Jesus and the holy spirit, i.e. declare that they believe there is no God.
To me it looks like it is totally missing the point. It is a bit like declaring that you are vegetarian, just because you don't like chicken.
Also the impact and the meaning of a statement like that is far more than just a few words. Who knows what lies at the end? Maybe they make this statement as a joke NOW, because they think it's funny, and, hey, everyone is doing it, so where is the harm in that? But can they see the consequences of their actions? NO, they are way to young for taking these kind of actions.

However, I do agree with that initiator, when he said that this action is because they are trying to reach those kids, that are brainwashed by their parents, priests, ministers, rabbi, imam, etc. "You MUST believe in God, because God is saying that whatever your parents tell you to do is right". "You MUST pray to Mekka 5 times a day, otherwise you will NOT go to heaven". "You are not allowed to watch TV, because TV is a tool of the devil". In other words, if you don't do this, God will be very angry at you. Or, if you do that, God will be very angry at you. Live the way the imam, priest, rabbi tells you to live. Because if you don't you will not go to heaven.
Hmmm.....This sounds a bit like emotional blackmail. And that is all there is to a religion. A religion is nothing more than emotional blackmail by a small number of people, in order to gain power over a large amount of people.
And what no-one in those religion seems to see, is how ridiculous it all is. One religion is saying you can eat pork, but you cannot eat beef. While another religion is saying the exact opposite.

If you look back in history, all misery has been caused by religion. Just look at the Catholics during the Crusades, the conflict in Ireland (well,partly ecause of religion), and now the world wide war on terrorism.
And the most ridiculous thing is that they all believe in the same thing. The only difference is the name, Jehova, Jaweh, Allah, God, Jesus Christ. So, they are more fighting over, who is serving God in the best way. "Holier than Thou" comes to mind.
And look at all those muslims, blowing themselves up in the name of Allah. They are promised 40 virgins when they get to heaven. This already shows that they can't really think ahead. You are in heaven for eternity, and with ONLY 40 virgins??? Basically that means that you only have 40 nights of fun! And what about the rest of that eternity!!??

Anyway, I think that these kids should not be encouraged to denounce God, Jesus etc. but they should be encouraged to denounce religion (is that the right term for this?). Since religion has always been, and will always be a major source of misery,
pain and emotional blackmail.

(Please note that I do NOT put the existence of God on discussion. That is something everyone should make out for themselves.)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

McDonalds,.....Should we laugh or cry?

Have we failed as parents? We try to give Alec good and healthy food, both western as Asian. Still, the golden arches are being pointed at as if it was paradise, the Burger King can only be passed with great caution, and the KFC holds no secrets anymore. Yet, this is typical of the era we live in today. Everything needs to be fast, even the food. This is something that kids already learn at a very young age. Therefore the number of McD's and KFC are ever increasing and even the smallest cities already has a number of at least one of the chainstores present.
And every time Alec is pointing at those arches, we look at each other, and ask the question:"should we laugh, because he recognize the McDONALDS, or should we cry BECAUSE he recognize the McDonalds?"

When I was kid, the McD was the first and only fast-food restaurant opening a store in Amsterdam, I think it must have been in the late '70's or early '80's. I remember having our birthday parties there, after going swimming or to the movies. Which was really special......to go to the McDonalds. It was the highlight of the party, and was talked about for weeks. Untill the time you get your own allowance, and have the possibility to visit the big city. Then it starts to become normal. It starts to become part of the every day life.

And now people teach the kids that McD stands for fast and convenient food. So, basically what Alec knows about fast food, he learned from us. And I think that even though we don't really like it, and maybe even feel a little bit embarrassed about it, I also think that maybe we shouldn't be embarrassed. It's has become part of our world, whether we like it or not, and we have to accept it. So, to answer the first question. If this situation would have occurred about 25, 30 years ago, I would have said "yes", but now? No, it is just that the times have changed.

Besides, anyone with kids knows that going to a "slow-food" restaurant with a 2 year old, or any age for that matter, can be quite a challenge, since they hardly can sit still for 15 minutes. Which usually is the time it takes for the waiter to come to take your order.
So, in a way, the fast-food restaurants are a way for parents to go out for dinner, and bring the kids along too. The only things we have to miss is the romantic candle light and the sweet guitar music. But then again.....does a 2 year old make a good combination with a romantic dinner?


Some funny jokes!

I found some funny jokes the other day on the net. Enjoy!

One Drunken Night

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.

Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.

In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.

He asks the leprechaun what is going on.

"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."

"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"

"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."

"And them out there?" asks the guy,

"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."


Code for Sex

There was a couple who did not want their children to know when they were going to have sex, so they decided on a code of ''writing a letter.'' One day, Daddy said to his daughter, ''Tell your mommy that Daddy wants to write a letter.'' The girl went and told her mommy and the mom said,

''The red ribbon is coming out, not now.'' The girl went back to the daddy and told him.

One day, Mommy told her daughter to tell her daddy that she wanted to write a letter. Daddy replied, ''Not now. Daddy already wrote the letter by hand.''


Marriage Requirements

A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.

"I'll only marry you under three conditions."

"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.

"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."

Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"

The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.

"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Poconos along with a 40 acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of Italy."

The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in Italy, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"

The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.

"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10 inch penis."

A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"


Bill Gates Buys Some Lovin'

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking and Bill says: "I've seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure would like to get together with her!"

Hugh replies: "Well Bill, you know ever since our incident, her price has skyrocketed, she's charging a small fortune."

Bill: "Hugh, money's no object to me. What's her number." So, Hugh gives Bill her number and Bill sets up a date.

They meet & after they finish, Bill is lying there in ecstasy, mumbling "God...now I know why you chose the name Divine."

To which she replies: "Thank you, Bill.....and now I know how you chose the name ..... Microsoft."



Curious Indian Boy

This Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say, mom, why is my bigger brother named "Mighty Storm"?

"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm."

"Why is my sister named "Cornflower"?

"Well, your father and I were in a cornfield, when we made her."

"And why is my other sister called "Moonchild"?

"We were watching the moon landing while she was conceived. Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious?"



Persuasive actions

Two guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge.
The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and pursuade them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday."

Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?"

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

"17 people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?"

"I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs."

"That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?" (to the 2nd guy)

"Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

"156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that!"

"Well, I used the same two circles. I pointed to the small circle and told them, 'This is your asshole before prison...."

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Just a cute pinguin dancing

I just wanted to share these video's with you guys. This is especially funny for kids, Alec is crazy about it. Enjoy!

Pinguin Reggae


Pigloo - Moi J'aime Skier



Le pappa pinguin

Friday, February 02, 2007

Phone sex

Sometimes when I am still up late at night, I sit behind the computer, but I have the tv on, sometimes just as some background noise, sometimes because there is actually something worth watching. Mostly it's just garbage being thrown in our living room, though. And especially the commercials late at night. It already starts around 11 p.m. Very carefully, and almost unnoticable the first commercials start to appear. And the closer you get to midnight, the more they become. And the more annoying they become. I am of course talking about those commercials for telephone sex.

The ladies are all moaning as if they are paid per decibel, and the one even more fake than the other. One is even dressed in one of those sexy police outfit and "coming" like a police siren. Can it be more pathetic? Some of the lines they use are just so...so....I can't even find a word for it, not even in Dutch. "You wanna do me from behind? Then I will turn myself around" "Wanna visit the girl of your dreams? Call me, I am wet and ready for you to come in" OH, PLEASE !! I need to vomit!!
Also our favorite trans-sexual Kelly comes along every once in a while. "What do you mean dirty? I am a very sweet girl". And then you hear someone yell "OH KELLY !!!" I think I need a bucket the next time this commercial is on, because I won't be able to keep my dinner in.
(For those of you not from Holland, Kelly has become famous, when she revealed in Big Brother, that she is a transgender, after kissing one of the other contestants. I think if that would happen to me, I would just kill myself.)

I never had the need to call those lines when I was kid. Well, even if I did, it's hard to call, when your parents pay the phone bill, and received a specified invoice every 2 months.
I think in all honesty, maybe I have called 1 or 2 times one of those numbers, when I was alone. And I think when I was with friends, you also make a call like that, to be tough, to show off.

When I was kid, it just started to become big business, and it was still a bit shady. Nowadays, it's a multimillion euro business, and probably a nice way for house-wifes to make an extra buck.
So, you can call one number and get a sexy asian girl from Thailand, who can do things to you, which you didn't even know that was possible, and call another number and you get a beautiful blonde, with legs that go on forever, and a megacup DD or whatever.
While in fact you probably get the same ugly lady, with legs you can find at the butcher's for 3,99 a pound, and breasts you need binoculars to even find them.

I am wondering, what kind of people would call those numbers? Is it only those pimple-faced schoolboys they make money from, or is that only a small percentage, and is there a certain type of guy who needs those numbers to get off? What is so attracting to hear someone say what they are going to do to you, while you know that they are probably knitting a sweater or reading a magazine while talking to you?

I never understood this whole concept of phone-sex and probably never will. Am I missing something? Well......probably not.